I am a 24 year old in a 80 year old womans body. Seriously.
My mom came over yesterday and is on her way here today because my back is right fucked. It keeps freezing and cramping up on me whenever I bend to pick Tessa up or put her down.
Its my fault. I've let my muscle tone die off so badly, I really need to work hard on getting it back. My knees also have no strength in them either.

I had Meaghan here from Wednesday to Saturday! We had fun and got to watch Tessa swim for the first time. I felt comfortable letting her swim in our friends pool as I know they don't abuse the shit out of chlorine or any other chemicals in their pool as a lot of the centres do yet claim they don't.
She had such a great time! Daddy went in with her while mommy took the pictures.

Tomorrow one of my best friends is coming to visit! Shes from the Buffalo area, but she now lives in Kansas City Missouri. So I don't get to see her often at all, this is the first time since shes moved here, and shes never met Tessa!
We unfortunately had to change some plans around and now I don't get to see my other best friend. Schedules conflicted so we had to change things around, but she lives in Buffalo and thats really not a bad trip to make. We just need our passports of the enhanced licenses.
I'm getting them to bring me stuff from Babies R Us in the US. Stuff that we don't have!! I'm so excited!

But this means I have to get cleaning! Thank god mom is coming over!

Tessa is doing really well with her food. We have one more veggie to try her on, yellow wax beans, then its onto more fruit. Shes had some so far, but mostly just veggies.
She has only had one thing that she did not like, and that was creamed corn. The newest thing we've introduced, apples and green beans, she loves!
So much fun feeding her! Plus daddy gets to take her out while mommy sleep for an additional 3-4 hours!

I am amazed at how sweet Emily is.

First she cut off 12 inches in her hair that shes been purposely growing, and donated it so it can be made into a wig. She looks so great with short hair!

Now she has asked for no presents for her birthday or Christmas, she wants money instead. Why? Because she wants to donate it to children in a third world country.

How did she get to be so sweet? I think she is amazing and I can only hope that Tessa grows up to be just like her.

I've already got a family tradition that I want to do with my kids each and every Christmas. I want to take them to the mall, Wal-Mart or Sears, wherever they have those boards with kids who are in need of presents, and get them to agree on a child or two (depending on how many kids i have) and shop for a gift so they can donate it. I want to get them excited to do that each Christmas.

I rearranged Tessa's room last night and hated it. So when my sister came over today I got her to help me with ideas and we found something I liked. My biggest problem before to switch was that her dresser was too far away from the change table so I'd have to leave her on there, which I haven't been able to for months now, so I finally did something about it. I'll take pictures later but I really like it how it is now. I just need to work on getting the diaper boxes full of her smaller clothes packed up and down to the basement.

We went for an hour and a half long walk today, and get this.......Tessa was great for the entire thing! Well, she was sleeping for most of it! But she woke up half way home on the way back and was great the rest of the way. Now she had Emily and Lauren to watch and keep her company so that definitely helped.
The walk would of been great for me if I didn't get a chocolate bar when we got to the store. >:/
Why do I do that to myself?


My favourite Baby Einstein DVD so far has to be the Neighbourhood Animals. I enjoy watching it! :p

Tessa is getting so big!! She can sit up by herself for quite a while now. I love seeing her learn to do new things! I'm so not ready for her to start crawling! I know a lot of other babies in the Nov 2008 PR have started, but damnit I'm not ready!!

Its my and Chuck's third wedding anniversary on Tuesday! I'm surprising him with taking him out for dinner at our favourite restaurant! It'll be nice because its about an hour drive and mom will be over looking after Tessa. We're going for an early dinner so we'll be back in plenty of time before she goes to bed. But I've got plenty of breastmilk in the freezer and she should only have to give her one bottle. Shes on enough solids now that she can delay her feeding for a while.
Tessa has had most veggies. Everything except yellow wax beens. Surprisingly she doesn't like fruit! She'll eat prunes mixed in with rice or barley cereal but thats about it. She loves sweet potatos and butternut squash though!
The only two things so far that have given her a reaction (being extremely fussy) are oatmeal cereal and carrots. I think she got a lot of gas with the oatmeal (thanks karla for suggesting that) and she would not stop throwing up the carrots so I don't know what gives with those.

Shes currently happy as can be playing with my wrapper from my All Bran bar. She enjoys that more than any toy you could give her! It crinkles so it must be good!

Why do I bother setting myself up for a nice night together with all three of us when I know he could get called into work.
He got a call a few hours ago to come in, but by the time he called them back they got someone else to take it. I have to admit I was happy. One shift at his part time job is worth like $350, but fuck I miss him when he works night shifts.
Then he got a call at 5:30 for a Trenton shift tonight.
He was telling me a story the other day about his grandparents. They got into a car accident and his grandfather had to spend the night in the hospital. That was the first time they had spent the night apart since he came home from the war.
I told Chuck that I can't imagine how it would be to have him home every night. I just can't imagine how nice that would be.

When I was like 13, some friends of my parents were having some marital problems, and I asked why. They explained that shift workers spouses have a hard time sometimes with their partners shifts. They told me not to marry a shift worker (they weren't being serious) but go figure I marry one!!

I don't get like this all the time, just when it comes up unexpected.

My baby turned six months today.



I made note to keep checking the clock at 10:15, when I first started pushing. Then 10:26am is the time when I met my beautiful little girl. Yup, took me eleven whole minutes to push her out! It was so beautiful.

Going through all of what we did six months ago. Starting with putting up the Christmas tree and decorations. No signs of labour. We thought at that point that I was going to be induced on the 30th. Tessa had her own plans!
I really couldn't of asked for more from our last night alone. We had so much fun, a great dinner, and yummy snacks.
We went to bed around 12:30am, and 45 minutes later I got up for the first time feeling like I needed to pee, but was having bad cramps as well. I literally went from nothing to BAM wow pain. I didn't think this was it though. It wasn't until I was having to breath through the pain (while still feeling the strong urge to pee) that I thought omg this is it!! I woke Chuck up and told him he won't be going to his Bancroft shift in the morning! He asked me how much it hurt and I said it was extremely intense. Little did I know I was already 5cm, so it was just the begining of the pain.
We left for the hospital, I called my mom, who didn't get my little hints (well it was almost 3:00am) and I told her to come up to the hospital so she can eventually meet her grand daughter.
We got there at 3:00. Went through the ER where we knew all the staff thanks to Chuck!
I won't go any further since I'm typing one handed and this isn't meant to be her birth story. I WILL get to that soon!















Happy six months my beautiful little girl!!

Because I need my hormones going even crazier.........



http://www.mykawartha.com/hospital
Click to enter
Level 6
Labour & Delivery
Then click Birthing Suite

Thats the room my baby came into the world in.


I wish it went all the way around. The room was amazing. One wall was all windows, and the other huge wall, half of it was windows. Perfect considering I laboured through sunrise.

Alright, I know I've got a few friends who read this who had c-sections and those whose labour didn't go well, so don't take this as me bragging, but it was my experience and I want to write about it.

What is wrong with my hormones lately?

I went up to the hospital today while Chuck was offloading a patient, and of course looked at the room Tessa was born in, and its like emotionally I went back to the day I had her.
How I felt when I first walked into the room. How I felt sitting there on the bed thinking "omg I'm going to meet my daughter today!!". Getting my epidural and how great Chuck was, rubbing my back, telling me how much he loved me, wanting to help me as much as he could. He was amazing that day.
But emotionally I felt like I was doing it all over again, and I would love to! It was the single most amazing day of my life and miss all of the emotions.
Being told I was 9.5cm and that I was going to push soon! Then pushing! Oh my god that was so amazing I could cry thinking about it. Then seeing her for the first time. Nevermind the fact I rubbed that white stuff all over Chuck's head! I totally didn't know I had it on my hands after holding her for the first time.

I'm just a ball of goo right now. I can't wait to give birth again!

I've got to write her birth story out for her baby book. Man I should of done that long ago.

Grey's Anatomy

I don't normally watch Grey's Anatomy, but I caught tonights two hour season finale.

o
m
g
I cried. I knew Katherine Heigel wanted out of the show so I figured her character would die. Thats sad enough, but George! SAD. He was so great on that show.

When Alex was crying thats when I started. That and when Meridith figured out it was George. GOD it was so sad. :'(